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When You Get No Support for Modeling

It isn't always every parents' dream to hear their child say, "Mom, Dad, I want to be a model!" Not having that support system from your family can be tough but that doesn't mean that you can't continue to pursue a career in the modeling industry.

Of course, that's easier said than done and for those of you who are underage and still live in your parents' house and under their rules, my heart goes out to you. In that particular situation, I always advise that if you are really set on being a model, do as much research as you can and have a game plan.

Then tell your parents after you have all the information and know without a doubt that you can answer any and all questions they may have. Parents tend to get cautious about something if you can't give them a legit answer about it. Don't just jump in and announce your plans to walk the runways in Europe and other major countries without thinking it through first. Just by you knowing your stuff, you may impress your parents enough to make them at least acknowledge that this is something you are serious about.

The key is to convince them that:

1) this is not a phase you're going through that you'll just dump a few weeks or months later

2) it will not interfere with your schooling

3) that you don't intend on modeling becoming your sole career (if you do, you have a lot more obstacles to tackle with your parents that I can't help you with!).

The main thing to emphasize to your parents or other family members is that this is something you are passionate about and want to give a shot...but that you need them to be supportive of whether you make it or not. Just having confirmation of that type of support can make all the difference to how you approach modeling.

 If you are currently a student in high school or college, you'll have to test the waters first and convince your parents that your choices aren't going to interfere with everything else. Of course if you end up being the next "it" model and are jetting around the world and making more than your parents combined, I don't think they would really complain. LOL.

If you have parents that are concerned about your self-esteem issues or falling into the eating disorder category, they are well within their rights to have such concerns because modeling as a business can be nasty and what parent wants to know that they willingly let their child take on something that may emotionally scar them if it doesn't work out?

This is why it is so important to know the ins and outs of the business and have a plan. Include your parents as much as possible in your decisions with modeling and try to always find a compromise, as opposed to yelling at them when they won't let you do something your way.

Find a happy medium and encourage them to talk to the agencies and ask all the questions they need until they are satisfied. Don't hide your parents from the agencies...especially if you are under 18...it is vital that they be a part of this process every step of the way with you.

For those of you with parents who are absolutely furious that you want to be a model and do or say things to discourage you, my heart REALLY goes out to you. But don't give up. If you know you stand a good chance at finding an agency that will take your modeling career in the right direction, go for it! But at the same time, don't burn bridges with your parents.

Modeling is a fleeting career that isn't promised...family (most times anyway) is forever. If you're bashing heads with your parents on the subject of modeling, step back and evaluate everything from all sides. In the end if they are just being difficult for no reason, then do what you can to pursue your dream without stepping on their toes. Sometimes you will have to push through without their support...as long as you handle your business and continue to do well in your modeling career, that is all that matters.

My mom is very supportive of my modeling career but I can't say the same about my dad. He is very wishy-washy about the subject. Mostly he doesn't take it seriously that I model and even with my resume and "proof" of my career, to him it isn't something he feels I should spend my time on.

When I go to go-sees or auditions, he always tells me that it's a waste of my time and gas and that for now all I know is that the gig will pay well IF I get it. Yes, it hurts to know that he cannot find it in his heart to support my modeling but that has never stopped me from going out and achieving my goals.

"One monkey don't stop no show," as the old saying goes.

Comments

Monika said…
my dad is like yours!
brw, got my mail?
kiss,
monika
Anonymous said…
Aaahh.. My parents are really against me modeling now; but I'm still 14 so hopefully I'll be able to make a kick-start when I'm about 16-17.
K said…
I don't know about mine. I already graduated from college, hoping to get their 'favors' yet I feel like, they're still hesitant.
Dania Denise said…
Hi, Princess of Dorne! You'll find the answer to your questions in its own post, titled "Answering a Reader Question #959," which can be found on my other blog: "Modeling 101 - Answering Readers Questions."

Please visit this link: http://amodelsdiary-readerquestions.blogspot.com/ and you can view your post there. Thanks for reading!
Unknown said…
I completed my graduation with my parents and family choice but now I want to start my career in modelling as my choice then their responce is so nasty, I really want this career as my main but they don't understand why even I gave them assurance to that I dont do anything which makes you feel embarrassed but still their thinking is shallow about me and this career. They never agreed to my any decision they just want to complete their own expectation their reputation by me. My dream, my passion, my happiness isn't worthy for them
Dania Denise said…
Hello, Unknown!

Thank you for your comment and sharing your experience. I'm very sorry you've had to go through that but you are one of many. The modeling industry is one that continues to be misunderstand, stereotyped and written off as a pipedream that isn't worth the time. Sadly, it's often our loved ones and those closest to us that tend to throw this kind of "reality check" in our faces.

While it hurts to not have that home base of support, if this is your passion--based on your words, I believe it is--you at least have the comfort of knowing you are pursuing this because your passion and happiness is yours alone and YOU are worthy.

My best piece of advice (aside from doing your best to let their reactions and comments go through one ear and out the other) is to have the best of worlds: do research on the industry and make sure you have a firm grasp of what type of modeling you realistically can pursue, what agencies would be the right ones to help you reach those goals and create a game plan instead of just diving right into the first offer you get.

While you're doing that, establish yourself with a job that will help you "adult" so you're not setting yourself up for hardship since breaking into the modeling world and staying there is extremely challenging and will not always be reliable from a financial perspective. That's the truth. But that doesn't mean you can't juggle the job and your modeling pursuits in a smart and effective way. It takes a bit of time but with dedication and understanding what you're striving for, you could make it work.

Feel free to reach out to me directly if you have specific questions, comments or concerns regarding your situation and I'll do my best to help: daniadenise@gmail.com

You already did your due diligence by graduating and complying with your family's needs, now you owe it to yourself to do the same but by your own rules.
Anonymous said…
I Belong from Asian household (not Chinese or Korean asian).
I am really interested in modeling, but my father don't like revealing clothes he always "says you are tall,why are you wearing this dress (length is till knee).he is always concerned what I wear and all.i really want to do modeling and yes he's always like what will thr world think if you do this , the world won't like. He's strict , but I don't want to live normal life. Please, hope you reply.
Dania Denise said…
Hi, Anonymous! You'll find the answer to your questions in its own post, titled "Answering a Reader Question #1,019," which can be found on my other blog: "Modeling 101 - Answering Readers Questions."

Please visit this link: http://amodelsdiary-readerquestions.blogspot.com/ and you can view your post there. Thanks for reading!
Anonymous said…
My mom thinks that even doing a modelling program breaks young girls heart when they don’t get gigs and stuff like that😭
What should I say to her?
I’m 12, and I really want to at least attend a modelling program.
Dania Denise said…
Hi, Anonymous! You'll find the answer to your questions in its own post, titled "Answering a Reader Question #1,024," which can be found on my other blog: "Modeling 101 - Answering Readers Questions."

Please visit this link: http://amodelsdiary-readerquestions.blogspot.com/ and you can view your post there. Thanks for reading!
Anonymous said…
I'm 14 but i really wanna do modelling but my parents are totally against it and there's this audition that i really wanna do but they are totally against it and idk what to do
Dania Denise said…
Hi, Anonymous! You'll find the answer to your questions in its own post, titled "Answering a Reader Question #1,027," which can be found on my other blog: "Modeling 101 - Answering Readers Questions."

Please visit this link: http://amodelsdiary-readerquestions.blogspot.com/ and you can view your post there. Thanks for reading!
Charlie said…
I just had a conversation with my mother that modelling pays really well.
And she straight up went like "it's a dirty business , you don't know what works models have to do to get on the top " . It was my way to tell her that I want to pursue modelling but before I could even tell that to her directly , I lost all my gathered up courage and I can see all my dreams dying right infront of my eyes.
Dania Denise said…
Hi, Charlie! You'll find the answer to your questions in its own post, titled "Answering a Reader Question #1,037," which can be found on my other blog: "Modeling 101 - Answering Readers Questions."

Please visit this link: http://amodelsdiary-readerquestions.blogspot.com/ and you can view your post there. Thanks for reading!

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