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Monday, November 28, 2011

Answering a Reader Question #243

Anonymous Wrote:

Should married female models be careful when working with male photographers, models, or even clients, especially if they are single and might tempt them to cheat on their husbands? I know some married female models whose husbands caught them cheating with either male photographers, models, or clients, especially through websites like Model Mayhem, Craigslist, or any model/talent social networking site. In addition to that, these female models' husbands divorced them and got custody of their children. I know male models who are married are able to resist such temptation, especially when working with female photgraphers, models, or clients, even when are sketchy, including married ones. But for married female models, it's a lot harder to resist temptation to cheat on their husbands when they are working with male photographers, models, or clients because they easily too close and persistent when a female model is married, even if she keeps saying no to having extramarital affairs with them or keeps ignoring them. Is it possible to continue modeling as a married female model? 

It is possible to continue modeling as a married female model. I know and have worked with models who are not only married but have children and haven't dealt with such issues. Also think about the supermodels that are married with families who probably get hit on or tempted from all types of people. They still manage to retain their careers and carry themselves professionally. These things do happen in the industry but not to the point where it has become a widespread concern. It's on an individual case-by-case basis and is not the norm.

Models (male or female) that are married and finding themselves in these types of inappropriate situations should stick to their guns and reject such advancements/approaches. If it costs them the gig/job, then so be it. No model should ever allow someone to take them out of their comfort zone and/or violate them physically, emotionally, etc.

This is why I strongly suggest that models obtain agency representation. The caliber of clients agencies deal with are 99.9% of the time legit, reputable and will not stoop to such bad behavior. The odds of such circumstances occurring are higher for freelance models. However, as long as models do their homework on the people they plan on working with and make it clear that they will only tolerate professional behavior, the bad eggs will be weeded out. If a client, photographer, etc. is showcasing such bad behavior, distance yourself from that individual and ignore all correspondence. Move on and eventually so will they. Of course in extreme cases of physical/sexual harassment, the incident should be reported to police immediately.

Temptation of this kind is present in ANY job--not just modeling. For those that fall in to temptation, they should be mature enough to realize the consequences of the decisions they make and be ready to accept them.


Anonymous said...

I learned it's more common for married female freelance models to cheat on their spouses than it is with married male freelance models, especially in Atlanta, GA where I come from, which is a much smaller market with fewer legitimate opportunities in modeling. I mean, I hear a lot about married female freelance models in my area cheating on their spouses, especially with wife-stealing, sometimes guy-with-camera type male photographers, models, agents, or clients, than married freelance male models, since most guys in my area typically don't have the looks, charm, style and even build to become a model, both freelance or agency, and plus it's easy for them to resist such temptations and defend themselves from sleazy girl-with-camera female photographers, models, agents, or clients. In addition to that, married female freelance models in the area that I live in get divorced more often than married male freelance models because of this.

In other words, I guess freelance modeling seems dangerous, if you're a married female freelance model and if you don't do your homework right (and always run into wife-stealing male photographers, models, clients, or agents) which even can ruin your marriage, not just gigs/jobs, and cause your husband to divorce you and get custody of your children so you won't see them at all. So therefore, agency representation is usually best, especially if you're married or even in a relationship or engaged. You'll be protected from outside advances that way.

Anonymous said...

Freelance modeling is more risky if you're a married female than it is if you're a married male.

Lisa said...

The problem is my dad says I shouldn't go into modeling when I get married, whether it is freelance or agency. He says my husband might suspect me of cheating on him and then divorce me and take my children with him. Is he right or not? Why can't people that don't participate in the modeling industry or any related industry understand what modeling is all about? Especially close friends or family, for example? Why would they act like this around people who go into modeling to the point of giving them bad reputations and spreading nasty rumors about them to their friends or other family members? Is this common?

Dania Denise said...

Hey, Lisa! It is unfortunate that the people that are supposed to be your support system are putting such thoughts into your head using scare tactics. I'm sure they have good intentions but their approach is all wrong and may be more harmful than helpful. What you have to do is put things into perspective--you said so yourself that you observed that people with no ties or experience in the industry are the first ones to speak negatively about the profession. So why take something seriously from someone that isn't an expert in the industry--especially if it's your family?

Does adultery happen in modeling? Yes. Is it so prevalent that all models should expect to have issues with it? Absolutely not. If that were the case, the modeling world would fall down. The instances of adultery/cheating/divorce, etc. are all "isolated incidents." This means it happens but not to the point where it becomes a staple in the profession.

People get into modeling and work with models to make money and to make a name for themselves--not to find a new booty call. There are people that take advantage of their position to further their own agenda but when dealing with legit and proven professionals, this won't be an issue.

I was in a 5 year relationship and never once was trust an issue, nor was my boyfriend at the time concerned that I would leave him for a photographer, model, client, etc. When our relationship ended, it was not due to anything related to my modeling career. The guy I'm with now has no problems with what I do and is super supportive.

I know too many professional models that are not only happily married but have children and never once have they had trouble with their family life because of their career in modeling. Think about the supermodels...many of whom are married with kids--their jobs don't get in the way.

Do not be convinced by scare tactics or people that aren't qualified to make such judgments to the point that it keeps you from pursuing modeling if it is something you really want to do. Perhaps you're in a location/market where that kind of stuff happens more often but in major markets that are known for their reputations being solid like New York and Los Angeles, this is never such an issue to the point where someone wouldn't want to enter the industry.

When it comes to a significant other, it is vital that your partner understands the nature of your job, respects it and trusts you. If they can't--there's the door. Open communication is also important so that you both remain on the same page at all times. Dating anyone that is naturally insecure, easily jealous or possessive will cause problems, whether you're into modeling or not.

Agency booked gigs are much less likely to put you into any questionable situations compared to freelance modeling opportunities because the clients are top tier and like I said, their concern is with putting out a good product that will make everyone a lot of money--not to get in your pants.

See the profession for what it is--a profession and not some plot to sleep with you. I've been doing it for 13+ years and have never had to worry about such things, nor the effect it would have on my relationship. There are too many successful, working models out there today that prove the issues your dad and family are putting out isn't something that should be enough to keep you from doing it.