On the flip side, it's also easy to see how feelings of insecurity, low self esteem and lack of confidence end up becoming a regular part of these young ladies' lives.
As much as the truth about airbrushed images and not-so-glamorous side of the modeling industry has been brought to light over the years, it hasn't stopped aspiring female models from feeling like they have to transform themselves completely in order to have a shot.
I get countless emails from young girls not just asking for advice about becoming a model but asking for my opinion and--in many instances--validation that they are pretty. It breaks my heart. I can tell within a few sentences whether an aspiring female model has confidence in herself or not (or too much!).
I will say right now that modeling isn't easy, nor is it for everybody with these goals. However, if you're going to jump into this crazy industry, being equipped with confidence is going to get you through a lot of tough times. Whether you want to freelance, get represented by an agency, are pursuing a fashion career or want to make it in the print world, I can only hope that this post will help change negative mindsets for the better and understand how important confidence is to women of all ages, shapes, sizes and ethnicities.
Love What You See in the Mirror
I often talk about using the mirror as a tool to help with posing, facial expressions and getting comfortable with your body. However, mirrors also serve another purpose: to help improve a person's confidence. I get it, we all have flaws...I've heard every type of self complaint there is:
I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, I have pimples, I have bad skin, My nose is too big, I have flabby arms, My feet are huge...and on and on and on.
The mirror does show what we don't like but that should serve as motivation to do what is possible to turn that situation around for the better. All that negative energy you use to criticize yourself each time you look in the mirror? Take it and do something positive. Solutions to everyday beauty, skin and body issues are only a search engine away. If we all took the same pains to build ourselves up as we take to tear ourselves down, we'd all be better off.
Recognize your flaws, work on what you can and then work on embracing the flaws you can't do anything about. The day you can look in the mirror and not say one critical thing about yourself is the day you've truly embraced the person looking back at you.
Realize There is Only One You
Unless you have an identical twin, chances are there is no one that looks, acts or sounds like you. And that is something amazing, believe it or not. While there is a standard type of physical look that certain modeling categories call for, such as runway and fashion, there is much more to being successful than appearance alone.
Confidence is about believing in yourself and what you have to offer an agent or a client. They see tons of models each and every day. After a while they all start to become one big blur. But the model with confidence always stands out.
You know what's great about yourself and it is up to you to sell that to agencies and clients. Not realizing your true worth and how you stand out from the crowd is the fastest way to become one in a sea of many generic model wannabes.
It Isn't Personal, It's Business
Losing out on a modeling job or being turned down by an agency sucks. I'm not even going to sugarcoat that. But you know what? Modeling is a business. Although it is a business that analyzes, judges and criticizes, the foundation for those things isn't to tear people down and make them feel terrible about themselves.
The decisions made by clients and modeling agencies are solely for the purpose of business. There is a lot of money that goes into the modeling industry and that's what it's about: who can make us the most money? Who will designers and clients fight over to work with? Who has what it takes to guarantee a long career and plenty of paychecks for all involved?
When you're being judged, it is not on the basis of who you are as a person but who you can be and what you can do for an agency or client. Sounds superficial doesn't it? But that's the good thing...it IS superficial and a big sign that it's nothing against you personally.
Aspiring female models always hear about the importance of building a thick skin and that advice will forever ring true no matter how much the industry changes (or doesn't change). Rejection is a regular part of the job and you have to learn how to adapt to this part of the business. Being turned down doesn't mean you weren't good enough, it simply means you weren't the right fit.
That's not to say you shouldn't feel bad when you do get rejected--it's a normal human emotion to feel sad, upset, angry or even cry. Express yourself however you feel comfortable but only give yourself 10 minutes to throw a pity party. Once those 10 minutes have passed, pick yourself up and stand even taller than you did before.
Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses
Mind over matter plays a huge role in the modeling world! There will always be someone you consider taller, thinner, curvier, prettier, blah, blah, blah. You're not them so why are you so focused on who the competition is and what they're doing? Focus on you and what you have to offer.
One of the biggest mistakes aspiring female models make is to look at the competition and automatically believe they are not good enough by pointing out all the reasons they don't make the cut. For every negative thing you think about yourself, think of TWO good things.
Make a list of your strengths if necessary. In fact, I encourage those dealing with issues of self confidence to put together a list of the things you like about yourself or that you find to be a strength. This could be personality related or something dealing with your physical appearance...whatever works.
Now take that list and memorize it. Make copies and put it in front of every mirror you own so that it stares you in the face each and every day as a reminder of why you're deserving of the utmost confidence in yourself.
Regardless of how your modeling career turns out...whether you become super successful, find that it's not something meant for you or if you don't have any real luck with it at all, maintaining a healthy level of confidence throughout is essential and a trait that will take you far in life.
You don't have to be a model to be beautiful, successful or admired by others. Confidence alone can help achieve all those things. And don't let anybody else tell you otherwise.
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